Break those walls...

"Once again, she’s alone in her room
Pondering about what she is to the world.
She wears a mask, to hide her pain"

Don’t believe for the mask I wear, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I’m afraid to take off and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me. I say I am secure, that all is sunny and fine with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and attitude is my game, and I’m in command and that I need no one. But please never believe me.

What you see may be smooth, but my surface is my mask,which conceals everything. Beneath lies confusion, fear, and loneliness. But I don’t want anybody to know it. I am afraid telling my weakness, I am trembling. That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind.I know that world accepts me this way, they believe – that I am worth something, that I am lovable.

It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t assure myself, that I’m really worth something. But I don’t tell you this. I’m afraid to. I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh. I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, I pretend, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. So begins the glittering but empty parade of Masks, and my life becomes a front. I tell you everything that’s really nothing, but what’s crying within me. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying, what I had like to be able to say, but what I never say.

I don’t like hiding. I want to stop playing this. I want to be genuine, I wanna be ME... ! but I need your help. You have got to hold out your hand even when that’s the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead.Its only you who can bring me into alive. Each time you are kind, loving and gentle, each time you try to understand because you really care, it encourages...my heart begins to grow wings –very small wings, but wings!

You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, I fear, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from the shadow-world of panic, from my lonely prison.

Do not pass me by. I know It will not be easy for me and you.

The nearer you approach me the blinder I may strike back. I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for this child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am a kid, you knew....